I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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