My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
