how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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