I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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