I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
3pm strippers are depressing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
