So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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