if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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