you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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