Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
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If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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