Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
