yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My first STD was from a foam party
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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