happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Michael Bay diarrhea
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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