Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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