we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
