Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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