Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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