I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
