Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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