I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
