Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
