Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We were destined to go to rehab together
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
