So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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