Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
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when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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