At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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