I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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