And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
