I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
