yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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