Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.