she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.