I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.