after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone