i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show