I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
