Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
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I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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