i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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