fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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