dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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