She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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