grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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