Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
