"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.