.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.