He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard