it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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