What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
