The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
