There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
