Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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