so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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