bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I forget how to act sober
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
