Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
