the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
