you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
