I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
