I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
