Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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