fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize