I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize