matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
