So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
