Need sex. Gaining weight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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