he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize